Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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