My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
