so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
