there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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