Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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