You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
