so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think I won the penis lottery.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize