Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
