Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
