I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
