Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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