If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
