it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
