Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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