She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
