yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
