My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
