What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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