I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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