I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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