Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My vagina is very pro this idea
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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