who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
