Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
