I just saw a hot homeless man
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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