Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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