every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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