Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
