the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
