oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
