Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
