Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
