Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
