I can tuck mytits in my pants
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
