All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
