Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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