Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
