Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
