I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
