well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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