we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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