yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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