I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
