ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
