That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
