im six kinds of drunk right now
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize