so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
