Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
