The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You are a genius and a whore.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
