a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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