Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
sex in a hospital.. check
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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