She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
