All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
