I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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