The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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