...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
