Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
