Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
