but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
