I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
