At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
