He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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