New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
