yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
