grandma shit on top of the toilet
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize