I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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