dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
