And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
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I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
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The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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