Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
