ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
