How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
