woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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